“I was once asked why I don’t participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I’ll be there.” – Mother Teresa
I used to think anti-war and pro-peace were the same thing. They are not. “Pro-peace” means in favour of peace. “Anti-war” means opposing war. Opposing. That means there must be opponents. Two sides. Fighting. Winner and loser. Right and wrong. Nothing about peace.
On that note, I thought I should make this official:
Climb the Rainbow is changing direction.
For the last three years, Climb the Rainbow has been a resource for domestic violence victims – challenging them to see their experience from new perspectives, encouraging them to leave disempowering relationships, and helping them recognise and break their negative patterns. I built this site with a single goal in mind: I wanted to help at least one other woman escape the hell I experienced, and I’ve done that now.
This blog has also been a cathartic release for me. Writing has been therapeutic and an integral part of tracking my emotional rebuilding process while I worked through the feelings of distress, shame, guilt, fear, and anger I felt at being abused. I cried as I built this site. I’ve cried as I’ve written many of the articles. I’ve cried with happiness, empathy, and relief whenever a woman has contacted me to say “Thank you – I’m out now”.
I’ve put my heart, soul, and tears into this blog, but I’ve realised writing specifically for domestic violence victims is no longer the most compatible path for me. Domestic violence victims see themselves and their relationships very differently to most people. It’s a foreign mindset; one that’s difficult to even comprehend unless you’re living the experience. A side-effect from my own healing is that I find it increasingly difficult to adopt that mindset to write and connect effectively with other victims, because I’m simply not in that place anymore. I’m not the same person as I was when this blog was born. I no longer feel defined by what happened to me.
I have shared everything I know about being a victim of domestic violence, and the time has now come for me to close the book on this chapter of my life and move forward. I will keep all of the domestic violence stories and information online as resources for those who need them, but it will no longer be my focus.
I love relationships and will continue blogging about them here, but relationships are so much more than being hurt and lists of things your partner shouldn’t be doing. Relationships are wonderful, growth-enhancing opportunities for connection and sharing love. That is what I want to share. I want to be pro-love rather than anti-abuse. Anti-abuse implies a dichotomy. Two sides that must fight and only one can prevail. But pro-love? Pro-love is for love. Not everyone can connect with the pain of abuse…but everyone can connect with the joy of Love.
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