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Love and Connection 101

October 26, 2010

Weird stuff happens whenever I feel disconnected from other people. Technology especially has an amazingly regular habit of malfunctioning. My Internet connection gets flaky. My mobile phone falls off the network and flat-out refuses to receive messages for days at a time.

Saying I feel disconnected from other people is really just a synonym for saying I feel disconnected from myself. When I disconnect from my heart, I notice other people disconnect from me. Rifts in my relationships of which I was previously unaware become apparent, and rifts I’d noticed in my relationships with others are magnified.

These disconnections and rifts manifest in various forms: broken promises, changed plans, missed coffees, neglected friendships…all are symbolic of stunted communication, foggy prioritisation, and lack of motivation and clarification within myself.

Of course, other people are not the problem at all. All this happens when I reach a point where I have become too disconnected from my heart. Other people haven’t broken plans or promises with me. I’ve broken plans and promises with myself. The perceived disconnections in my reality are merely physical manifestations catching up with my energetic output to reflect my thoughts and beliefs back to me.

When I notice rifts and disconnections with other people, it really just means that I’ve become more aware of my inner incongruencies. We are all energy at our most basic level, so when I disconnect from my own heart I simultaneously disconnect from everyone else’s.

On the flip side, when I feel connected and loving towards another person, that relationship represents a part of myself I’ve embraced and accepted. When I reconnect with a part of myself, I also reconnect with that part of other people.

I recently noticed a series of interesting synchronicities and connections as I confronted my inner disconnect and started plugging back into my heart, dreams and passions instead of living like a zombie. High maintenance relationships and those teetering precariously on the brink of negativity began to fade naturally from my life as more compatible connections resurfaced and new connections flowed in.

Were these more compatible connections always there to be made? Yes, but while I remained mentally and emotionally stagnant, those rivers of connection were flowing too fast for me to sail. Once I decided to get off my arse and hit the ground running, I could keep pace.

If you’re feeling disconnected right now, then here’s a tip: go do your own thing and stop caring what everyone else thinks. You want to travel? Then pull your finger out and just do it. You want friends? Then tell your negative friends to get bent, and go out and find new connections that actually empower you. You want love? Then stop pretending to be someone you’re not, and show the world the real you. Love is easy when you’re being your authentic self instead of a socially conditioned shell.

Follow your heart. Live your life. Be yourself. You don’t have to live according to other people’s expectations.

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