First Post (and why I put it off for so long)

January 23, 2009

I’ve been thinking about starting this blog for months, but put it off for a few reasons. I didn’t feel emotionally ready to help others. I didn’t have the qualifications to help others. I didn’t want to share too much of my life with people because it would make me feel vulnerable. I convinced myself I didn’t have the time. These were the excuses I made to myself, but all I was really doing was procrastinating and being a sissy.

Domestic violence is a taboo and unpleasant subject. It’s prevalent in our society, but no one talks about it. Most women I’ve spoken to who have been through the experience are happy to speculate privately, but not to speak publicly about the fact. That’s perfectly fine. We all have our stories and deal with our respective experiences in different ways. For me though, sitting in silence wasn’t an option.

When I first left my abusive relationship, I read plenty of women’s experiences of domestic violence. Those stories were what gave me the fire and determination to get out and stay out. What they didn’t do was to give me an idea of how to rebuild my life after leaving. It occurred to me that the reason many women don’t leave is the fear of the unknown.

What happens to women who get out of an abusive relationship after the initial liberation? What challenges could women who had been through domestic violence come up against? What emotions were they likely to feel? How could they even begin to mend a life in tatters? I knew I could answer these questions, at least from a subjective standpoint. I hope by compiling and sharing my emotional rebuilding process, I can help other women break the cycle too.

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